I remember that at the beginning of this year I was over-enthusiastic and eager to learn new skills in software development and apply them to my projects. Now, all of that enthusiasm is gone; what happened?
To be honest, I’m still trying to answer that question myself. Maybe it’s due to staying in more thanks to the pandemic, America’s reckoning with race or political chaos caused by the Trump administration preoccupying my mind, or wanting to just get outside and relax a little. Either way, I still don’t understand why I can’t get myself to code or take online lessons.
To be honest, I don’t believe my predicament has anything to do with my current job. Although it’s not as code-heavy, I am still gaining valuable skills in WordPress and digital marketing, which will no doubt advance my career. In addition, I am in an amazing work environment with professional co-workers, so I can definitely rule that one out.
Maybe this has to do with a low-grade depression that I’ve experienced more often since the start of the pandemic. I’ve been staying in more, limiting my contact with people, and avoiding crowded indoor spaces in order to lower my risk of getting the coronavirus. Not only that, but I might double down on my efforts as we get further into the fall and subsequent flu season.
That could be a potential reason as to why I’m not motivated to code; however, one could say that reasoning is counter-intuitive at best, as I would have more time at home to take coding lessons and work on more projects. Nevertheless, the lack of motivation to do anything while depressed is not to be reckoned with. Not to throw a pity party or anything, but there have been moments in which I didn’t feel like doing anything, or that whatever activity that came to mind didn’t interest me at all.
Ok Shane (and to whomever else this post applies to), take a deep breath in and out. You know you messed up by becoming complacent, but that doesn’t mean you should put coding behind you for good. You’ve learned a valuable lesson and know what you need to do to put that behind you! Self-affirmations aside, I hope that going forward, I will be able to get back to running on all cylinders real soon and continue to advance my web developer career!